When I asked my second year university students in Shenzhen to write essays on who they wanted to marry - a topic they thrilled to - I could see a coming problem for the young Chinese.  Most of the girls said they would not be traditional wives, but would be modern wives.  They wanted a husband who was kind and strong and would appreciate their career.  Most of the boys described themselves as traditional and wrote they wanted a girl who was kind and traditional and would take care of their parents.  

This brings the about the question of who is going to take care of the old folks in China.  AARP has an interesting article in the July-August Bulletin on this question.

 Tradition Under Stress

AARP says in part:  . . .  the ancient tradition of xiao shun, or filial piety—calling for them to care for their parents in old age out of duty and respect—conflicts with their modern goals of separate personal and professional lives. . .

. . . (China's) transformation comes at a time when nearly 150 million people, or 11 percent of China’s total 1.3 billion, are older than 60, and that figure will rise to more than 400 million by 2050, a quarter of the population, according to the China National Committee on Ageing. (Older people make up 17 percent of the U.S. population and will increase to 26 percent by 2050.) The question of who will support this burgeoning older population is not lost on Wang, especially because, as one of 90 million born under China’s strict one-child policy, she has no siblings to share the responsibility of caring for her parents. While the policy has curbed China’s population by an estimated 400 million, the ratio of workers to retirees will decrease from 20 to 1 in the early 1980s to 2.5 to 1 by 2020.

Along with our careers and relocations, in America 37 million Americans provide unpaid care for family members estimated to cost $350 billion.  We don't call in filial piety, of course.  We call it responsibility.   But many families find there is a time when caring for mom or dad at home can't be done and nursing homes and medical assistance come to the rescue. 

In China AARP reports . . .  While hanging onto aspects of filial piety, many families are changing how they care for aging parents. China’s home care industry is booming. Generating $9.8 billion today, it’s expected to grow to $18.5 billion by 2010 and $71 billion by 2020. But while 2.3 million older Americans live in nursing homes or assisted living facilities, most Chinese would face intense criticism if they sent their parents to a long-term care facility.

This is a hard transition in an American family, too, and we feel plenty of regret and guilt.  But as a daughter who has helped move her parents into a nursing home and as a nurse who has worked in a nursing home, I understand it takes a staff of healthcare workers to take care of one person who has significant disabilities.  One person at home trying to do this 24/7 risks losing her or his own health.  One mother can take care of four children, but four children can't take of one aged mother. 

. . . . “A social safety net has to be established,” says Wei Li, a professor of economics at the Cheung Kong Graduate School of Business in Beijing.

Indeed, China has new initiatives, including social security coverage for employees of privately owned companies and an experimental health care insurance system that now covers nearly 40 million retirees. The government has also built more than 32,000 senior centers, which provide health care and day care for more than 30 million people.

“But the question is, is this enough?” says Wei.